Twitter

I'm out of inspiration for today so I'm creating a post with some of my favorite tweets in the past couple months.

• I like having many dogs because when people come to the door I don't want to talk to, I have the perfect excuse to say sorry and shut it.
• Republican debate drinking game tonight. Who's in? A shot every time you hear the word "values". (Don't drive; you're gonna be hammered.) (@Zachbraff)
• If I can't scuba, then what has this all been about? What have I been working for? (The Office)
• How about this? Instead of writing "excuse my typos" at the end of your email, you check your work like a grownup before sending it out. (@Darinmcwatters)
• Why are little kids afraid of sand?
• Which is worse, walking into the bathroom and seeing a giant spider on the ceiling or walking in again and having it be gone?
• I keep thinking I've been to Hawaii recently but then I have to realize I've just been watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall a lot.
• You know you're having a good day when your yogurt lid falls to the floor yogurt-side-up.
• Guys, honestly, imagine there's no pizza. I couldn't if I tried. (@williamalden)