Tuesday, February 21, 2012

True/False: Stereotypes on Motherhood

Today we have a super special guest here, my lovely cousin, best friend and fellow blogger Brianne is sharing her take on motherhood stereotypes. She had her first daughter in August of 2010 and that little princess just celebrated her one and a half year birthday. So let's sit back, get comfy, and learn about her experiences. Have you experienced similar things? Different things? Share in a comment.

 

True and False Stereotypes of Motherhood. Well mostly true.

Once you become a mom....

You start to wear mom jeans. False.

Although I can totally see why mom jeans, which are typically high waisted, stretchy, baggy pants would be comfortable to wear, I just can't bring myself to see that as an option for me. Thank goodness I don't see much of them on anyone I know so I don't feel the pressure to start wearing them to conform to the typical image that comes along with motherhood.

 

You lose all Fashion sense. True.

Now I'm not sure you lose ALL fashion sense but you certainly don't have enough time to get all dolled up everyday. And even when you do find the time to look presentable, spit up, pee or baby food will always find its way onto your clean shirt or in your just-done hair. It's pretty much a given. I spend most of my days with my hair in a bun and wearing my favorite pair of sweat pants. Every night when I get into bed though I do tell myself, tomorrow will be the day you start getting dressed like an adult from now on! But seriously, who am I kidding. Sweat pants are just so much easier and more comfortable to crawl around in on the floor when I'm chasing Layla around growling like a tiger. I do however put my makeup on every day! So high five to myself for that!

You become super paranoid and worried. TRUE!

Having a baby has definitely changed the way I look at everything! There's the creepy looking man that walks by and stares makes me cover Layla's face and run the other way, the ants and spiders that I know are somewhere in the sand Layla wants desperately to play in makes me cringe and deprive her of normal kid play, and that little cold that makes me repeatedly call her pediatrician over and over every time she coughs (and yes I do try to mimic the way the cough sounds over the phone) just to make sure she didn't catch pertussis the last time a stranger tried to touch her while we were at the store. Motherhood has succeeded in making me a nervous wreck.

Time goes by so much faster. True!

When I was pregnant everyone started to tell me that once I had Layla time would start to speed up so much that one day I'd be giving birth to her and the next day I'd be sending her off to college. Um okay like having a child makes you step into some new, faster time continuum thing and the years just speed by without you noticing? Dramatic much people?! Well that's what I thought anyways until I was planning Layla's first birthday party and just started crying because it really seemed like I just had her last week! Where did the year go?! And now in 6 months she'll be two and that's really not ok with me! Slow down crazy time warp thing! Slow down!!

Stay at home moms watch tv and eat Bon Bons all day. False!

I'd like to know where this came from! Obviously from someone who has never stayed at home with a newborn or toddler. I wish I could sit down and eat Bon Bons all day! Actually I just wish I could sit down! I mean technically I do sit a lot, but it's just not quite as relaxing when you have a child throwing her toys at you or trying to climb as high as she can up your back. And when she doesn't want to play with me and I fool myself into thinking I can just lay on the couch and watch her run amuck she starts climbing on top of things and trying to jump off. Or squeezing into corners or under small tables and not being able to get out. So needless to say, my two minutes of laying still on the couch turn into me jumping up and down to stop her from breaking all her bones. And I guess we do watch tv all day. Wait I mean we do watch tinker bell all day! So yes people, be jealous that I can sit at home and memorize every single word in three different tinker bell movies.

You get all kinds of advice. True.

Most of it is unwanted advice. No thank you I don't need your homemade bubble tea recipe to make my daughter sleep through the night. I mean what the heck is bubble tea anyways?! And she is only 2 days old so I'm not too concerned that she wakes up for feedings throughout the night. No all the food she eats is not organic homemade baby foods. Now please stop giving me that look (a horrified open mouthed stare) I promise I don't just feed her ice cream and soda. She eats normal baby food fruits and vegetables and she loves it so there!

You start learning and singing toddler tunes all day. Sadly this is true.

Yes that's right. Once your child is old enough to watch cartoons you will forever be walking around singing the theme song to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and The Little Einsteins. Even my husband David who assured me that that just would not happen to him can be found singing songs from the Never Land Pirates late at night when he thinks no one is listening.

You become a super possessive mother bear. True.

Mmhm. There's pretty much not more that I can say about this that doesn't make me sound completely crazy. But yes I have become extremely possessive of my baby girl. I don't like when people don't respect me as her mother. She is my daughter and what I say should go. I know Layla better then anyone and I know what she needs and wants. Okay okay, don't judge me too much about this one. I've never been very overly possessive of anything so this feeling is pretty new to me and I work daily on not letting it affect how I act towards people.

You will be surprised how much love you can have towards your baby. True.

Of course I knew that I would love this little girl so much! I mean I started loving her the minute I knew I was pregnant. But then I held her for the first time. She opened her eyes and looked right at me. It was true. I didn't even know it was possible to love someone so much. And my love for that little girl grows more and more every day. She is my whole life and my whole world. I would do anything for her and I love her more then any words would be able to describe.

 

So yes I have fallen into most stereotypes of motherhood. But really at the end of the day it doesn't matter. It's not about stereotypes and typical mommy behavior. It's about my baby girl and how it's my job to make sure she has everything she needs and that she feels loved and safe. And I think I'm doing a pretty darn good job of that. I know I do things wrong daily, but I'm still learning. And when I look at Layla and she has a huge smile on her face, or when she calls me mommy, or does something that's extremely advanced and smart for her age, I can smile back at her and feel proud that I'm teaching her and making her feel loved!

 

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